That would be almost EVERYTHING about these scenes. I especially loved the first scene. It was just the right amount of showing and telling about the history of Brendan and Kalen. It sets up a relationship of trust and caring that makes you wonder for the future: Does Brendan stay loyal and at Kalen's side? Do they have a falling out because of Kalen's attitude about the war?
It's pretty obvious from just this small scene that Brendan is a natural fighter and takes it seriously. He's an Alpha male, a protector, honorable (in his own mind). Kalen is small, weaker, bullied and ostracized by his classmates which Big Brother takes offense to. I love the fact that Brendan punches Kalen, too, for not sticking up for himself. He doesn't treat Kalen like he's weak and a baby like the other kids. He wants him to be strong. And I would assume that's why Kalen turned into the boy we meet in the first chapter who is smart, observant, self-confident. I also LOVED that Kalen didn't cry after getting hit. He just accepted the criticism of his behavior and went with it. It shows he's already grown some--from crying over being bullied to accepting a punch in the nose for being a wimp.
I think my favorite part was the teacher hauling Brendan back inside by his ear, lol.
I like scene two in it reveals more about the kids' homelife. That Kalen is afraid of their father but Brendan is not. It's the difference in their personalities again and it comes out really well in the writing. I think, though, it would work better combined with scene one (as mentioned above). Like get rid of the throw away line of mom being there and instead having them sitting in the principal's office waiting to get picked up and discussing what will happen to them. Then have the dad pick them up. Really show the kind of person he is and what they'll have to grow up with. That kind of abuse will shape a person completely. But they will react to it differently. Brendan will probably use it to fuel his obsession with being a soldier, being the best fighter so he can one day stand up to his father. Kalen would most likely try to be perfect to avoid conflict. At least that's what I get from the two scenes.
Although I like what scene 3 reveals I think it could be cut and parts of it added to the other scenes. It's mostly just Brendan ruminating on his brother and slows the pace down. Most of the information could easily be parts of the other scenes. I really, really like how it starts though. It's a contrast from the end of the 2nd scene where he's kind of being tender with his brother. Then right away he's pissed at him. It shows that something has shifted in their relationship over time. Although the time jump is significant and threw me at first.
Scene 4 is great in that it shows some world building (I'll talk more about that later). You get some glimpses into their society and it sets up the growing tension between the brothers with the dad's preference of Kalen. Or at least that's Brendan's interpretation. Kalen would probably have a completely different one where he thought his father loved Brendan more because he was a competent fighter and had a future as a soldier (which is like the most proud thing to do in their society). But it's a short scene just tossed in there.
what I liked
That would be almost EVERYTHING about these scenes. I especially loved the first scene. It was just the right amount of showing and telling about the history of Brendan and Kalen. It sets up a relationship of trust and caring that makes you wonder for the future: Does Brendan stay loyal and at Kalen's side? Do they have a falling out because of Kalen's attitude about the war?
It's pretty obvious from just this small scene that Brendan is a natural fighter and takes it seriously. He's an Alpha male, a protector, honorable (in his own mind). Kalen is small, weaker, bullied and ostracized by his classmates which Big Brother takes offense to. I love the fact that Brendan punches Kalen, too, for not sticking up for himself. He doesn't treat Kalen like he's weak and a baby like the other kids. He wants him to be strong. And I would assume that's why Kalen turned into the boy we meet in the first chapter who is smart, observant, self-confident. I also LOVED that Kalen didn't cry after getting hit. He just accepted the criticism of his behavior and went with it. It shows he's already grown some--from crying over being bullied to accepting a punch in the nose for being a wimp.
I think my favorite part was the teacher hauling Brendan back inside by his ear, lol.
I like scene two in it reveals more about the kids' homelife. That Kalen is afraid of their father but Brendan is not. It's the difference in their personalities again and it comes out really well in the writing. I think, though, it would work better combined with scene one (as mentioned above). Like get rid of the throw away line of mom being there and instead having them sitting in the principal's office waiting to get picked up and discussing what will happen to them. Then have the dad pick them up. Really show the kind of person he is and what they'll have to grow up with. That kind of abuse will shape a person completely. But they will react to it differently. Brendan will probably use it to fuel his obsession with being a soldier, being the best fighter so he can one day stand up to his father. Kalen would most likely try to be perfect to avoid conflict. At least that's what I get from the two scenes.
Although I like what scene 3 reveals I think it could be cut and parts of it added to the other scenes. It's mostly just Brendan ruminating on his brother and slows the pace down. Most of the information could easily be parts of the other scenes. I really, really like how it starts though. It's a contrast from the end of the 2nd scene where he's kind of being tender with his brother. Then right away he's pissed at him. It shows that something has shifted in their relationship over time. Although the time jump is significant and threw me at first.
Scene 4 is great in that it shows some world building (I'll talk more about that later). You get some glimpses into their society and it sets up the growing tension between the brothers with the dad's preference of Kalen. Or at least that's Brendan's interpretation. Kalen would probably have a completely different one where he thought his father loved Brendan more because he was a competent fighter and had a future as a soldier (which is like the most proud thing to do in their society). But it's a short scene just tossed in there.
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