I noticed in the first bit of dialogue that they say each other's name a lot. If they're the only people there, and the tags and tone of the conversation make it clear who's speaking, you don't need to say their names so much. In typical conversation, people rarely address each other by name - just something that stood out of me. :)
Hehehe, "dearly love to disembowel". Oh man. I giggled hysterically at that. I love her tone, her sacrasm - it's not too heavy, so it comes across very natural and comfortable when reading.
I want Robot Scrabble. BADLY.
I'm really loving the drastic contrast between their two worlds - the techno-centric savages (sounds very dystopian!) and the... hmm... the city of light, as I keep thinking of it. Beautiful and peaceful and everyone works and has no time for anything, including thinking, and information is so regulated... it's like they're both living in apocalyptic worlds, but ones that went in completely separate ways, divided by a fence.
FORBIDDEN LIBRARY. I'm suddenly reminded of "The Book of Eli", the forbidden books. Oh I love this. Delicious.
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timeasmymeasure
To the second set of **********
Date: 2013-01-20 08:41 pm (UTC)Hehehe, "dearly love to disembowel". Oh man. I giggled hysterically at that. I love her tone, her sacrasm - it's not too heavy, so it comes across very natural and comfortable when reading.
I want Robot Scrabble. BADLY.
I'm really loving the drastic contrast between their two worlds - the techno-centric savages (sounds very dystopian!) and the... hmm... the city of light, as I keep thinking of it. Beautiful and peaceful and everyone works and has no time for anything, including thinking, and information is so regulated... it's like they're both living in apocalyptic worlds, but ones that went in completely separate ways, divided by a fence.
FORBIDDEN LIBRARY. I'm suddenly reminded of "The Book of Eli", the forbidden books. Oh I love this. Delicious.