Oh, and thanks for the critique on the dialogue and idea of how to rework it. I have a lot of trouble with Kalen after the explosion. He really doesn't want to talk. :\
By the way, I meant to add -- I'm not sure I want the reader to feel sorry for Kalen. I want the reader to understand his motivations, but he's not a hero in this part of the story. I'm not sure he's a "hero" in any part of the story, but he does snap out of it some eventually. How long that takes? Eh. I think he's a little depressed. Or a lot depressed.
What I really want is for the reader to feel sorry for everyone who has to deal with him, probably. That's how I feel when I'm that level of depressed, anyway.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: scene 2
Date: 2013-03-25 06:23 pm (UTC)By the way, I meant to add -- I'm not sure I want the reader to feel sorry for Kalen. I want the reader to understand his motivations, but he's not a hero in this part of the story. I'm not sure he's a "hero" in any part of the story, but he does snap out of it some eventually. How long that takes? Eh. I think he's a little depressed. Or a lot depressed.
What I really want is for the reader to feel sorry for everyone who has to deal with him, probably. That's how I feel when I'm that level of depressed, anyway.