The thing about him not wanting to be a leader is probably the most realistic thing about him. I think he should be more clear about. Blow up at Calla and tell her to go find another leader because he doesn't want the job, can't do the job. Something like that.
As for showing Kalen's other side. Honestly I think you're going to have to break down and show it from Kalen's POV no matter how hard that is to write. I think all 5 POVs should show up within the first couple of chapters. I would (and this is just my opinion based on how I write) chop of the chapters and show 2 opposing viewpoints for each, changing with the scenes. Maybe not every single one but some of them.
Like starting by showing Calla meeting Kalen and being totally relaxed with him, describing how he's confident and cocky and all that. But then, maybe have the next chapter be them going to the library from Kalen's POV and how anxious he is and how it's totally not him.
That way Calla still has no idea why Kalen isn't acting like himself but the reader knows exactly what is going on and won't completely hate Kalen. They'll probably dislike him but they'll understand why he's acting that way. Even if they still want to punch him in the face.
I kind of think you're getting stuck with the way your characters speak to you. This is not a slam against your methods. I just think you're going to have to eventually think past what they tell you. Sometimes they aren't reliable narrators which can work for a story but if every single one is unreliable the story becomes confusing.
Like the not describing things because a character wouldn't think that way. That's fine but I think in later rewrites you will have to put words into their mouths because they need to do these things to make the book readable. A real editor would tell you the same thing and make you rewrite it before they'd publish it.
I've been reading experiences from published authors and some of them talked about their first experiences. About editors telling them they like the book but needed to cut 50k words before they'd consider publishing. Or having editors tell them to completely change the plot (keeping the overall premise). That's harsh. But it's reality.
And I'm totally not trying to stifle your creativity or process. I think you should keep going as your going but keep in mind this kind of stuff. Another point would be your focus on the characters. It's great but they need a good plot to build on. I know you're working on that but it's going to be something major to make all the character changes believable. And I'm totally talking out my ass because I pretty much wrote my novel the same way--scenes that show the characters but with no plot to connect all the scenes together. They were nice scenes and all but the story was blah.
Part of the trouble I'm having now is molding those scenes onto the framework of an actual plot. It is not easy. I had to change the entire premise of the book, change POVs, introduce new characters, take out old characters (and I might take out another including the entire subplot that I love).
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timeasmymeasure
Re: scene 2-kalen & calla thoughts
Date: 2013-03-25 06:56 pm (UTC)As for showing Kalen's other side.
Honestly I think you're going to have to break down and show it from Kalen's POV no matter how hard that is to write. I think all 5 POVs should show up within the first couple of chapters. I would (and this is just my opinion based on how I write) chop of the chapters and show 2 opposing viewpoints for each, changing with the scenes. Maybe not every single one but some of them.
Like starting by showing Calla meeting Kalen and being totally relaxed with him, describing how he's confident and cocky and all that. But then, maybe have the next chapter be them going to the library from Kalen's POV and how anxious he is and how it's totally not him.
That way Calla still has no idea why Kalen isn't acting like himself but the reader knows exactly what is going on and won't completely hate Kalen. They'll probably dislike him but they'll understand why he's acting that way. Even if they still want to punch him in the face.
I kind of think you're getting stuck with the way your characters speak to you. This is not a slam against your methods. I just think you're going to have to eventually think past what they tell you. Sometimes they aren't reliable narrators which can work for a story but if every single one is unreliable the story becomes confusing.
Like the not describing things because a character wouldn't think that way. That's fine but I think in later rewrites you will have to put words into their mouths because they need to do these things to make the book readable. A real editor would tell you the same thing and make you rewrite it before they'd publish it.
I've been reading experiences from published authors and some of them talked about their first experiences. About editors telling them they like the book but needed to cut 50k words before they'd consider publishing. Or having editors tell them to completely change the plot (keeping the overall premise). That's harsh. But it's reality.
And I'm totally not trying to stifle your creativity or process. I think you should keep going as your going but keep in mind this kind of stuff. Another point would be your focus on the characters. It's great but they need a good plot to build on. I know you're working on that but it's going to be something major to make all the character changes believable. And I'm totally talking out my ass because I pretty much wrote my novel the same way--scenes that show the characters but with no plot to connect all the scenes together. They were nice scenes and all but the story was blah.
Part of the trouble I'm having now is molding those scenes onto the framework of an actual plot. It is not easy. I had to change the entire premise of the book, change POVs, introduce new characters, take out old characters (and I might take out another including the entire subplot that I love).