http://hosticle-fifer.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] hosticle-fifer.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] n3m3sis43 2014-11-14 12:49 am (UTC)

Excellent entry!

In the first half, good job building tension. I like how all the materials are specifically called faux, it paints a picture of the world. I also like how much is revealed about the main character by what he notices - eyeing fashion, for example.

The second part reinforces to me that this could, with a slight reskin, be quite at home as a Warhammer 40k piece. (A statement that reveals my depths of nerdity beyond even that of the garden variety nerd). From the biomechanical government spooks, to the complete disregard for human life in the interest of special programs, unethical neuro-psychic tampering ...it's just the right kind of dark! :)

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