Dedication
Sep. 10th, 2012 01:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
n3m3sis43My heart pounds with excitement as I hang up after the call with my agent. Not even bothering to put the phone down, I dial Daisuke right away. Even after all that's happened, he's still the only one I want to talk to.
Come on... pick up, pick up. His line rings and rings. Just when I'm sure it's going to voice mail, he answers.
"Hey, Daisuke," I say, voice trembling with excitement. Is it my imagination, or is there a long pause?
"Hey, Sam."
More dead air. I remember how we used to be able to talk for hours.
"Whatcha been up to?" I finally ask.
"Well, you know," he says, "I'm graduating from college soon, so I've been filling out job applications. Had a few interviews already, too. Sorry I haven't called. I've just been really busy."
"Yeah, it's okay." I will my voice not to crack.
That old lump rises in my throat. Things have never been the same since the year and a half Daisuke spent away. He's never told me what happened while he was gone. Not that he's the only one holding back - there's so much we've left unsaid. I sigh, forgetting for a moment that I'm still on the phone.
"Sam? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Hey, I just wanted to tell you. My book comes out next week."
"Sam, that's incredible! I always knew you could do it." It's the first time he sounds like him.
At least he's still in there somewhere, I think.
We make conversation for a few minutes and then hang up with a promise to see each on the weekend. Then I sit down at my computer and browse through old pictures. I wonder if I'll ever truly have my best friend back.
* * * * *
I'm sitting in the coffee shop we always used to go to. Since I got here early, there's too much time to think. Nervous, I swirl the ice cubes in my water glass with a straw. Then I smile, recalling all the times we sat here together in our high school days. Sipping fancy coffee drinks late at night, we felt so grown up.
The smile is still on my face when Daisuke walks through the door.
It's been months since I last saw him; his hair is short now, professional. That makes sense, I guess - he said he's been interviewing. He's kept up with his workouts, but otherwise he looks the way I remember from years ago. I can almost pretend he's the person he was back then.
I stand to greet him and he puts his arms around me. His embrace is awkward, nothing like the bone-crushing hugs he used to give. Then he pulls away and takes his seat across the table, looking as apprehensive as I feel.
"Hey, Daisuke," I say.
"Hey, Sam." He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"How's it going?" I'm so awkward around him now it's painful.
"Had another interview today," he says. "I think it went well."
"What kind of place is it?"
"Small startup, but it looks promising. I'd have to move out of state, though."
My heart sinks. I force my face to arrange itself in a smile anyway.
"If it's what you want..."
"Sam - " His voice trails off.
"What, Daisuke?"
"Never mind," he says. "How's life as a published author?"
"Nerve-wracking," I admit. "What if it doesn't sell?"
"It'll sell, Sam. Your writing is amazing; you know I've always thought so. Who wouldn't want to read it?"
For a just a moment, the door is open. He's the Daisuke I know and love. I speak before he can slam it shut again.
"I brought you a copy," I tell him, sliding the book across the table.
"Is it signed?" His boyish excitement melts my insides. It's been so long since I've seen him like this.
"Better than that," I say. "Read the dedication."
I wait impatiently as he reads. After all the time I spent agonizing over it, I know the words by heart.
To my best friend Daisuke -
Thanks for always believing. You were there for me when no one else was, no matter the circumstances. Our lives are on different paths now but you're forever in my heart. None of this could have happened without you; I'm a better person for knowing you. May your life be filled with love, beauty, and adventure.
Love always, Sam.
Daisuke looks up, dark eyes shining. Then he's at my side, pulling me to my feet. He hugs me so hard I feel faint.
"Thank you," he whispers.
Without a word, I put my arms around him and hold him tight.
Come on... pick up, pick up. His line rings and rings. Just when I'm sure it's going to voice mail, he answers.
"Hey, Daisuke," I say, voice trembling with excitement. Is it my imagination, or is there a long pause?
"Hey, Sam."
More dead air. I remember how we used to be able to talk for hours.
"Whatcha been up to?" I finally ask.
"Well, you know," he says, "I'm graduating from college soon, so I've been filling out job applications. Had a few interviews already, too. Sorry I haven't called. I've just been really busy."
"Yeah, it's okay." I will my voice not to crack.
That old lump rises in my throat. Things have never been the same since the year and a half Daisuke spent away. He's never told me what happened while he was gone. Not that he's the only one holding back - there's so much we've left unsaid. I sigh, forgetting for a moment that I'm still on the phone.
"Sam? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Hey, I just wanted to tell you. My book comes out next week."
"Sam, that's incredible! I always knew you could do it." It's the first time he sounds like him.
At least he's still in there somewhere, I think.
We make conversation for a few minutes and then hang up with a promise to see each on the weekend. Then I sit down at my computer and browse through old pictures. I wonder if I'll ever truly have my best friend back.
I'm sitting in the coffee shop we always used to go to. Since I got here early, there's too much time to think. Nervous, I swirl the ice cubes in my water glass with a straw. Then I smile, recalling all the times we sat here together in our high school days. Sipping fancy coffee drinks late at night, we felt so grown up.
The smile is still on my face when Daisuke walks through the door.
It's been months since I last saw him; his hair is short now, professional. That makes sense, I guess - he said he's been interviewing. He's kept up with his workouts, but otherwise he looks the way I remember from years ago. I can almost pretend he's the person he was back then.
I stand to greet him and he puts his arms around me. His embrace is awkward, nothing like the bone-crushing hugs he used to give. Then he pulls away and takes his seat across the table, looking as apprehensive as I feel.
"Hey, Daisuke," I say.
"Hey, Sam." He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"How's it going?" I'm so awkward around him now it's painful.
"Had another interview today," he says. "I think it went well."
"What kind of place is it?"
"Small startup, but it looks promising. I'd have to move out of state, though."
My heart sinks. I force my face to arrange itself in a smile anyway.
"If it's what you want..."
"Sam - " His voice trails off.
"What, Daisuke?"
"Never mind," he says. "How's life as a published author?"
"Nerve-wracking," I admit. "What if it doesn't sell?"
"It'll sell, Sam. Your writing is amazing; you know I've always thought so. Who wouldn't want to read it?"
For a just a moment, the door is open. He's the Daisuke I know and love. I speak before he can slam it shut again.
"I brought you a copy," I tell him, sliding the book across the table.
"Is it signed?" His boyish excitement melts my insides. It's been so long since I've seen him like this.
"Better than that," I say. "Read the dedication."
I wait impatiently as he reads. After all the time I spent agonizing over it, I know the words by heart.
To my best friend Daisuke -
Thanks for always believing. You were there for me when no one else was, no matter the circumstances. Our lives are on different paths now but you're forever in my heart. None of this could have happened without you; I'm a better person for knowing you. May your life be filled with love, beauty, and adventure.
Love always, Sam.
Daisuke looks up, dark eyes shining. Then he's at my side, pulling me to my feet. He hugs me so hard I feel faint.
"Thank you," he whispers.
Without a word, I put my arms around him and hold him tight.
