Writerverse Challenge #05: Wisdom

[n3m3sis43]

Title: Wisdom
Prompt: Memories and Brother/Sister
Bonus? No
Word Count: 664
Rating: PG-13 for a couple f-bombs.
Original/Fandom: Original (Cliffton)
Pairings (if any) None
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): None
Summary: Brendan and Kalen used to be closer than twins. Now, things are different.



"Ashlynn Farrell likes you," Brendan says.

I shrug without looking up from my half-assembled robot. People always like me now. Inside, I'm still the weird kid they beat up in Second Year. Outside, I'm one of them. I fit in - it's what I do. It's like breathing.

"No, I mean she likes you," Brendan insists.

"So?" I'm much more concerned with making these lasers work than with some silly girl.

"Half the kids in tenth year want to date you. The rest want to be you. And all you care about are your stupid robots and those weird insurgents you keep sneaking out to meet. What a fucking waste." Rage bakes off him in waves.

"How did you - " Taken aback, I put down my tools. "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" The thought alone makes my mouth go dry. Even speaking against the War is treason. If anyone finds out I've been meeting people from the Splinternet, people who harbor the same doubts I do...

"Don't worry, little brother," Brendan sneers. "I won't tell anyone you're not who they think you are."

A wave of relief washes over me.

"Why the fuck would you do that, though, bro? You have everything a kid could want - perfect grades, popularity, a guaranteed spot on a fighting squad. Why would you risk it all?" Brendan turns on his heel and stomps toward the door.

"It's not what I want," I call after him. "Haven't you ever wondered what we're fighting for?"

"No, and if you had any sense, you wouldn't either." His mouth is set in a thin line, lips white.

"It's just... the Other Side - they're people too," I tell him. "They're people just like us."

Brendan snorts and says nothing.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demand.

"Who the hell are you to talk about people, Kalen?"

I just stare at him. Brendan can go from calm to angry and back a hundred times in an hour. Sometimes it scares me. He says he won't tell, but you never know. You never know what he'll do.

"It's all just a fucking game to you," he continues.

"What else is it supposed to be?" I ask. "Why do girls and dances matter when there's a War out there? A War I'm forced to fight, whether I believe in it or not."

"People matter, Kalen." Brendan throws up his hands. "For a genius, you can be so fucking stupid. I see the way you are - keeping everyone at arms' length, even me. Stop acting like you're better than me just because I want friends. You can't just go through life alone and have it be okay. No one can."

"Brendan, those people at school aren't my friends. They'd turn on me in a second, given the chance."

"I used to be your friend. Now you don't need me anymore," he says in a small voice.

"You're still my friend," I tell him. "You're my brother. Nothing can ever change that."

"Then why don't you talk to me?"

"It's better for everyone if you're not involved in what I'm doing. The last thing I want is to take you down with me if I'm caught." I sigh and rub my temples. Brendan wears me out with his anger and emotion, his constant need for reassurance.

"I'm involved now anyway," Brendan says softly. "Knowing what I know could get me blacklisted. Everyone would hate me and I'd never be allowed on a fighting team. And unlike you, I want to fight. More than anything."

"I know, Brendan. Everyone here wants to fight."

"Yeah, but I'm not 'everyone'. I'm your brother." Brendan's eyes are clear. The storm seems to have passed for now. "And I wish you'd spend more time with me, even if we are different. I'm not gonna be around forever, you know."

I nod, but my attention is already back on my workbench. Where's Brendan going to go, anyway?




This story takes place in the "Cliffton" universe I've used in a few of my other stories. If you haven't read them already and want to, they are in the Cliffton section of this post. This scene takes place before any of the others, when Kalen and Brendan are 14 and 15 years old. In the weeks he spends alone during The Vacuum Of Time, he thinks back on it and sees Brendan's words in a different light.

Comments

[riverotter1951.livejournal.com]

Poignant as Kalen remembers the past and how much simpler life was. Poor Brendan knows what his brother is doing but keeping silent so he can have the future he wants. Kalen’s choices will lead to unforeseen consequences. Thinking about Brendan and what he said makes Kalen see his words differently in retrospect. Does Kalen regret the choices he made?

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

Kalen has a lot of regrets, but I think at this point they mostly center around "I was a crappy leader - I shouldn't have let Brendan go into that place at all." I'm not sure he gets yet how the ways he treated Brendan all along factored into this outcome.

Oh, and thank you so much for reading and commenting. :D

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Brendan wears me out with his anger and emotion, his constant need for reassurance.
People like that wear me out too, and it's not surprising considering that Kalen is much more of an introvert than Brendan. All of that psychic "noise" and "demand" is exhausting to introverts, in general.

I'm not gonna be around forever, you know.
This gives me such a twinge, because we know how it fits into the future. But it also makes sense in an ordinary context: we grow up, we move away, and given that Brendan wants to fight, he'd be off at war someday. But even those more innocent possibilities seem sad. It's all so different, once everyone leaves home.

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

They wear me out, too. People in general wear me out (also an introvert, ha). :D

Oh, yay. That's exactly what I was hoping for with that line. I'm wondering if that should actually be the last line of the story? I wanted to show that Kalen brushed it off at the time, because he didn't understand the significance. But does the story have more effect if it ends on that line?

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

It might have more effect in the context of your universe, but as a standalone story (and you're serving both ideas, here), it works better as is.

Tricky balance, isn't it?

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

Ha, it is a tricky balance. :)

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

I like how Kalen's efforts at protecting Brendan are straining their relationship beyond normal sibling rivalry but he doesn't really seem to realize it. Makes me wonder if things would have been different if he had accepted Brendan as a partner in his rebellion earlier. I think Brendan's final days of trying to prove himself are directly related to this conversation he had with his brother.

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

Aw, this kills me a little because I think you're right about Kalen's shutting Brendan out being relevant to his last days. I think if Kalen had been more open with Brendan all along there's a chance he could have won him over.

I don't always "get" Brendan as easily as some of the other characters, but I know one thing that really bugs him is when people assume he's stupid. He's not. I'm pretty sure Brendan felt the reason he was kept out of the loop was that Kalen didn't think he was smart enough to be of any use. Really, it was probably just because Kalen has his own issues and generally doesn't get people. Which kind of makes him not the best leader, doesn't it?

[lilycobalt.livejournal.com]

I empathize with Brendan here in a way that I never have before. His jealousy of Kalen stands out more since they're younger. I think growing up made it look like that jealousy disappeared, but it never actually did. I also get hints here of Kalen not understanding people that well, because he can't even predict how Brendan will behave and would rather focus on the robots.

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you were able to empathize with him more. Brendan is one of the characters I have the hardest time writing because I don't identify with him as much as the others. I'm working on building his character more now because I really don't want his to be just the big aggressive dummy. He's not dumb.... He's just Brendan. :)

And a big yes to what you said about Kalen. I'm working on fleshing him out too because I think he doesn't show a lot of personality, but his deal is he's spent so much time being something he's not that he's not always in touch with who he is. And he really doesn't understand people too well either.

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

[sem-writes.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is interesting. I like how you're characterizing the brothers here. We have the one who doesn't want to be popular or care about the popular kids and the one who realizes how dangerous it can be to not at least care a little about what the popular kids think and are doing, because ultimately they're going to be the ones in power. I can identify with Kalen a lot, but I can also identify with Brendan, and that makes the story all the more interesting to me. Can't wait to read more of this story/these characters!