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I Love You, Man
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lilycobalt for the idea of a drinking night."Got any plans for tomorrow night?" Brendan asks as he brushes the dirt off his pants.
"Plans?" I snort. "Robots don't make plans." I step back and survey our handiwork. The purple flowering cacti we've planted add a touch of cheer to the otherwise barren back yard. No one besides us ever comes back here, so it's kind of our spot now.
"It's your birthday, though," Brendan says. "Shouldn't you be doing something special?"
Oops. When did I tell him my birthday?
"I mean, if you don't want to do anything... that's okay, too." Brendan's face is getting all pink now. It's kind of cute. "It's just... I kind of planned a little party."
"A... party?" Robots don't have birthday parties... or do they?
"Yeah, just a little one." Brendan has this hopeful look on his face and that's kind of cute, too. "Wes said he could find us some stuff to drink and I checked and no one has any other plans so they should all be around. I mean, I know you can't really get drunk but I figured... You know, everyone should have a birthday party."
I'm pretty sure my face would be pink now, too, but robots don't blush.
"Why not?" My robotic voice sounds casual enough. "It might be fun to watch you all make asses of yourselves."
The back door of the house flies open and Wes comes bursting out into the yard. He's carrying a huge wooden crate filled with bottles, excited as always. "Hey, Brendan, I - " Wes stops speaking, his eyes wide. For a moment, he just gapes at us both. Then he sets down the crate and points at the newly planted cacti. "Wh- what'd you do to our yard?" He keeps staring the flowers, a crestfallen expression on his face. I've never seen him this upset over anything that didn't involve Devin.
"Oh, man," Brendan says. "I'm really sorry I didn't ask. Calla and I have been spending a lot of time back here, and we wanted to brighten the place up a bit. Make it feel... more homey, I guess. We still should have checked with you first."
"No, dude, it's okay." Wes offers a halfhearted smile. "I know what it's like to be in a new place and feel like there's nothing that's yours. I just... I just kinda hate flowers. It's okay, though. I never come back here anyway."
If robots could blush, my face would be beet red. It never even occurred to me to ask Wes and Devin if we could dig up their yard. On the other hand, who could possibly object to flowers? I wonder if this is how Kalen feels all the time.
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Look what I brought!" Wes is smiling again, motioning excitedly toward the crate of bottles. Even though I can't drink anyway, I'm curious, so I take a look. There are bottles of all shapes and sizes, filled with liquids of various different colors. Though "filled" isn't entirely accurate.
"Hmmm," I say. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why are some of these bottles only half full?"
"I kinda raided my parents' bar." Wes looks a little embarrassed. "Maybe I should've just gone to the store."
"Hey, if your parents don't mind, I don't," I tell him, "and what I say goes, because it's my birthday."
"Yeah!" Wes grins at me. "I can't wait for tomorrow. It'll be a night to remember!"
"I still don't feel anything," Kalen whines, pouring himself what must be at least his third shot.
"Wow, bro. That's XtremelyClear. Nothing in it but pure alcohol and water. How can you not be feeling it?" Brendan's cheeks are pink and his grin's a mile wide, and I'm not even sure he's finished his first drink.
"Don't feel anything, either." Devin glares at his nearly-full drink, the same one he's been holding for two hours.
"Um, Princess?" I snort. "I think you have to actually ingest it to feel the effects."
"But it tastes funny," he whines.
"What in the world is it?" I ask him. "It looks like gronk vomit." The drink is murky and not even an identifiable color. I don't think I'd want to drink it, either.
"It's, um... it's a fucking mixed drink." Devin scrunches up his forehead in confusion.
"Okay, but what's it made out of?" I really don't understand how this boy is supposed to be a super-genius.
"Don't fucking know." He looks away, his face red. "Thought you were just supposed to mix different bottles together."
"Jumping jackweasels, Princess." I shake my head. "How did you even survive to adulthood?"
"What?" Devin grumbles. "Not a big fucking drinker, okay?"
"X-Gel shots are ready!" Wes is all smiles as he enters the room with a huge tray of tiny clear cups. The cups are filled with colored gel in a rainbow of bright colors. They look so pretty and festive. If robots could drink, I'd definitely try one.
"What's X-Gel?" I ask.
"Ooh, it's amazing! It's this weird squishy dessert thingy they have over here. You make it from a powder. By itself, it's just okay, but when you mix it with alcohol, it's... it's miraculous." Wes looks like he's already consumed a few of his own concoctions. Then again, he always looks like that.
"I think your boyfriend needs a few of those." I grab four and thrust them at Devin.
"He's- he's not my - " Devin stammers and almost drops his tiny cups.
"Oh, shut up and drink your squishy drinks or I'll laser you. It's my birthday and you have to do what I say."
"How's it feel when this stuff kicks in?" Kalen asks. "I'm not sure if it's working yet."
He looks more relaxed than before, stretched out on the couch next to me and his brother, but he's still quite obviously the most sober one here. Except for me, of course. Robots don't get drunk.
"Pretty sure mine's working." Devin's face is flushed and he looks... happy. He hands Kalen the tray of X-Gel shots, noticeably emptier than before. "Here, have some more. X-Gel shots are fucking delicious."
"Uh, dude?" Wes shoots Devin a worried look. "How many of those have you had?" He's sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall. I can't tell if he's drunk or not, because he's acting the same way he always does.
"Just four. Might need a few more." Devin's smile lights up his whole face.
"Dude, no. I think you've had enough for now. Those things'll creep up on you. Why don't you come sit down?" Wes gets a hopeful look. "Or dance?"
"Not gonna fucking dance," Devin grumbles, but his smile never falters. He sits down next to Wes and rests his head on his shoulder. I've never seen him look so content.
"Dancing!" Brendan looks like he's enjoying himself too, and he's sitting really close to me on the couch. Now he jumps up and grabs a small controller. He clicks it repeatedly until the room fills with loud, thumping beats and electronic melodies. We don't have music like this where I come from, but I know from Wes it's called "dance music".
Brendan's gyrating his hips oddly. His arms are making jerky motions like he's trying to start one of those old-fashioned tractors with the pull chains. We don't dance to this kind of music where I come from, but I'm pretty sure he's not doing it right. It doesn't matter, though, does it? He's obviously having fun.
"Ooh, I love this song!" Wes shrieks as he jumps up to join him.
Devin looks disappointed for a moment. Then he shrugs and scrambles to his feet, grabbing two more X-Gel shots while Wes isn't looking. With the furtive look of a child sneaking a forbidden dessert, he downs them, stumbling a little as he makes his way back to the couch. He's grinning again as he flops down next to me, practically falling into my lap.
"Having fun yet, Princess?" I snicker.
I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't heard it with my own robot ears, but I swear he actually giggles.
We both watch Wes and Brendan as they move in time to the music. Brendan doesn't look any less awkward than before, but he doesn't seem to care. It warms my nonexistent heart to see him feeling comfortable for once. I'm not entirely used to my new, non-metal face yet, but I think I might be grinning as widely as Devin is right now.
Wes has a small smile too, but he's in his own little world. It's the only time I've ever seen his impossibly spindly limbs not look clumsy. He's completely absorbed in the music and his body's moving in a way that's, well, kind of fascinating, really.
I'm not the only one who's noticed. Devin's watching Wes like he's seeing him for the first time.
"Hey." Kalen taps Devin on the arm. "I never said I was sorry. You know, for moving all these people in."
Devin never looks away from Wes. "Whatever, man. It's all good. Your friends are okay."
"Man, I love you guys." Kalen's sprawled out on the floor because there's nowhere else for him to sit. He doesn't seem to mind. Those X-Gel shots must have done the trick, because I think I'm the only sober one here now.
Kalen smiles beatifically at the four of us crammed on the couch. "Devin, I love you because you let us stay here even when you didn't want to. Wes, because you're always happy and you're never mean to anyone. Brendan, because you're my brother and Calla would've died if you hadn't turned her into a robot. And Calla, because - " He pauses, deep in thought. Is it really that hard to come up with a reason to love me? "Calla, because you're just so... tall," Kalen finally finishes.
Devin giggles like a little girl, and I hear Wes snickering next to him.
Brendan leans over and whispers in my ear. "I can think of plenty of reasons to love you."
Yup, I'm definitely the only sober one here now.
Except for maybe Wes - it's hard to tell, since he acts like a drunken fool most of the time. His face is bright red and he's grinning like an idiot, but I'm not sure that's a result of alcohol. Devin's all but in his lap, arms wrapped around him and head on his shoulder. Their skinny legs are all tangled together and they both look like they've won first prize in a SimFighting tournament.
This couch isn't small and they're not very big, but there's still not much room left for me and Brendan. We're managing, though - by which I mean we're cuddling a little too. My robot body can't get drunk, but I'm still all warm and fuzzy inside.
"C- can I touch your hair?" Wes whispers to Devin.
His tone is so reverent, I barely manage to stifle a snicker. Brendan makes a small snuffling noise, and I'm pretty sure he's having the same issue. I bury my face in his shoulder and chuckle as quietly as I can. Brendan doesn't seem to mind, if the way his arm tightens around me is any indication.
I finally get control of myself and look up. Devin's curled up in Wes's arms, kissing his neck like he wants to swallow him whole. Wes has his head thrown back, fingers twined in Devin's hair. Their eyes are closed, expressions of pure joy on both their faces. Brendan and I exchange a glance. Maybe we should go somewhere else and give them some privacy?
Devin saves us the trouble by jumping up, looking absolutely panic-stricken. Without a word, he runs from the room. Wes just sits there for a moment, blinking like he's come out of a trance. Then he shoots me a questioning look.
"Maybe he wasn't feeling well." I shrug. "I think he sneaked some more X-Gel shots behind your back."
"Oh, Devin." Wes shakes his head. "He would do that. Guess I should go check on him."
"So, Kalen. Think they're together now?" I snort after Wes disappears down the hall.
Kalen doesn't answer, and when I look down I see why. He's lying on the floor, eyes closed and mouth hanging open. There's even a tiny stream of drool running down his chin. Those shots must have finally kicked in after all. It figures the Clueless Wonder would sleep through this.
Brendan laughs, probably thinking the same thing I am. I turn to him, wishing I could make my eyes shine the way his do when he looks at me. He's probably still drunk, but I don't think that's the only reason he's wearing that dazed expression.
"Think they're going to fuck?" I ask him.
"Nah, man." Brendan shakes his head. "They could've been doing that for years if they wanted to."
"Oh, they wanted to. Want to bet on it?"
"Hmmmm." Brendan chews his lip. "What are the terms?"
"If I'm right, you have to kiss me." I can't believe I just said that, and I'm not even drunk.
"You're on." Brendan says with a grin.
Why do I suspect he's hoping I'll win this bet?
Devin's gone for almost an hour before he wanders back out into the living room, looking confused. His wet hair hangs over his shoulders and he doesn't seem too steady on his feet. "Where'd Wes go?" he asks.
"He said he was going to check on you, but that was a while ago," I tell him.
"Oh." Devin's shoulders sag in disappointment. "Maybe he went to bed. Guess I will too. G'night."
"Looks like you lost that bet," Brendan says dejectedly.
"You know, there's no rule that says you can't kiss me anyway." My body's supposed to be fully functional, isn't it? I've yet to test it out, and there's no time like the present.
Brendan's eyes light up and he leans toward me with a smile. As luck would have it, that's when Devin rushes back into the room. His eyes are enormous and he seems to be having trouble forming complete sentences.
"Wes - he's - I found him - " At a loss for words, he gestures frantically toward the hallway.
"Breathe, Princess." I'd offer him a drink to calm him down, but I think he's had enough of those already.
"It's Wes. He's in my bed. Asleep. Naked." The look of horror on Devin's face is absolutely priceless.
"Sounds like you've got him right where you want him, Princess." I laugh. "What's the problem?"
Devin turns bright red and starts backing into the hall. "Guess I should, uh, wake him up."
I turn to Brendan, grateful to finally have a face that can show the triumph I feel.
"Who lost the bet?" I demand.
"Are you sure you won?" Brendan asks. "He just said he was going to wake Wes up."
"Did you not see the way he was blushing?" I'm not even sure why we're debating this.
Brendan falls silent, watching me like there's something else he wants to say.
"What?" I finally ask.
"Maybe you just have that effect on people." Brendan's cheeks do look a little rosy.
"Come on, Brendan. Does it even matter who won the bet? Just kiss me already."
A smile spreads across Brendan's face as he leans toward me again, lips slightly parted. He's pulling me close when I hear the noises coming from down the hall. Someone's very vocal, it seems. I don't mind, though. That just means no one will hear any sounds we make.
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Love, because Wes/Devin and CallaBot/Brendan omggggg. I ship both of these pairings so hard and unfff, Wes and Devin making out and then (presumably) fucking after a night of drinking. I just, it makes this fangirl so happy.
But the happiness is brief, because I know what happens next and how their relationship progresses and omggg I feel so bad for Devin and Wes and CallaBot especially.
There are so many little lines I love in this thing, dude. This story shows so much of all of their personalities and their relationships with one another. <3
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I'm so glad you ship Brendan/CallaBot because I wasn't sure they were a Thing and you know my issues with canon pairings. But I'm pretty sure they are a Thing. Although I'm not sure how exactly that's going to work, physically.
I had no idea Wes and Devin were going to do that. I thought Devin would awkwardly cuddle and that would be it. And then I saw how I wrote the drunken cuddling and it was like... there's no way he's going to stop there. So, um. I did not know this was going to happen in my canon.
But obviously, the parts that are already written that the future for both of these pairings is... not pretty. And that kinda killed me too. Also, I just want to remind you that after Explode, Kalen locks his fool self in his room and leaves CallaBot alone to deal with the Simple Twins, who are having their own issues. How much do you think she wants to kill Kalen after that?
I'm really glad this worked for you. :D
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lol I do know your issues with canon pairings. I'm still glad that they're kinda a Thing, now, too, though. I like that Brendan seems almost shy with CallaBot. It's really fucking cute. <3
I know you didn't. And when I read the cuddling I was like oh, wow. What if they actually ended up having sex? And then you started going "You know, I don't think Devin would just stop there." and I just about died.
Oh my god, she probably wants to laser him into the fucking ground over and over again. She was left to deal with Wes and Devin alone during that...omg. And now that it's obvious she crushed on Brendan at the very, very least... aw maaaaan my feels.
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ONE HAPPY MOMENT. Yeah, that cuddling went way further than I expected. I'm like, uh, he's committed to this at the moment.
Yeah, being stuck with Wes and Devin during The Whole Truth was bad enough. It was worse when I realized she was friends with Brendan. Now that they're a Thing to some extent, oh mt god. Kalen sucks.
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And yes, Kalen fucking sucks. The more things that are revealed about the group dynamics of the house the more and more I am annoyed with him and wish he could go diaf already. Ugh.
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Oh, drunkies.
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People should always be careful with X-Gel shots.
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Oh, and there's a really nice depth and compassion in this piece that's really nice to see.
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And thanks. Depth and compassion are easier when my two emotionally honest characters are involved. Everyone besides Brendan and CallaBot is too much of a spaz for that.
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Wes and Devin were adorable, but I can just imagine how not-fun the "morning after" is going to be for them.
And just...if Brendan and CallaBot are a Thing, damn it's even shittier that Kalen locked himself up in his room! I mean, even if he didn't know they were a Thing, it still just sucks for CallaBot.
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Man, I didn't realize how badly I needed to write Wes and Devin being adorable in my canon. It is going to be rough the day after. I have an idea of how it's going to play out but I'm not ready to write it.
And yeah, man. Fuck Kalen. I liked that he ended up alone yet again. I'm mean.
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I've had this idea for a while that I'd be developing a friendship between CallaBot and Brendan because really, they're the only two with sense so you'd think they'd bond. I'm not sure of the extent of their relationship yet but I think it's clear I have my first canon pairing. Although once Brendan's temper issues start to come out I'm not exactly sure how CallaBot handles it. I'm hoping better than I think because they're not even his fault, not that anyone knows that at first.
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But I suddenly, after this story at least, have a sneaking suspicion that you say "Callabot" and picture something more along the lines of this:
Now, obviously, this story makes MUCH more sense with your idea than mine. But imagine how awkward and confused I must have felt picturing Brendan making out with Rosie-the-Robot/Callabot. I'm just saying. ;)
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I've recently realized she goes through at least one more body change during the story because after "For Science!" the authorities could very well be looking for her. Given the storyline I'm writing, I'm guessing during the rebuild she gets a more human-looking body that possibly somewhat resembles her original human appearance. I think she'd still be visibly robotic in some ways though. And also I think Brendan is kind of crushing on her when she's still metal and shiny.
Also, thank you for bringing this up because it just made my brain explode with a really dramatic storyline and omg.
Oh, and part of the problem is I have not really explained the concept of her body being replaced several times, because I kind of only figured it out after "For Science!" And it didn't occur to me that she'd need to be less... metallic until I realized she and Brendan were going to be a Thing. Which is kind of new, too. Up until a week or two ago I was kind of thinking "friends with unresolved sexual tension" because I really do not do canon pairings.
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I really liked their drunken behavior and the two betting on Wes and Devin! I wish there had been more for those two but it was enough to help this fangirl.
Definitely worth the read. ;)
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I wanted to write more for Wes and Devin, too. Only I didn't feel like CallaBot would just be sitting there staring at them for long periods of time while they were making out. Plus to be honest, when I started writing this story I did not expect them to do any of that. It was going to be awkward drunken cuddling.
My characters do not always do what I expect them to do. <3