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Tomorrow Trilogy Fanfic - Control (Chapter 2)
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theun4givables's awesome universe, The Tomorrow Series. The previous chapter is here, if you're interested in reading it.I press my lips together tightly as I jiggle my key in the lock. Fucking lock sticks, and I keep forgetting to report it to Palace Maintenance. Of course it has to act up now, when I desperately need to get inside. It'd probably help if my hands weren't shaking so hard. I'm still so angry I can't see straight, but the disgust's creeping in now, too. My stomach heaves, and I swallow hard to keep back the bile that rises in my throat.
Fucking Christ, what the fuck did I just do?
My hands still won't stop shaking, and that lock still won't fucking budge. Can't even really see it through the tears in my eyes. It's all I can do not to throw up on my shoes. Have to lean against the door, force myself to breathe in and out slowly. I'm not sure how long I stand in the hallway, struggling for control. Not sure how long it takes for the tightness in my chest to ease. It feels like hours, but it can't be - Jazz would've come back to his apartment by now.
The worst part? I totally wish he would come back. Still wish we could work things out, even now.
But I can't think about that now - not after I fucking shoved Jazz, hurt him even when he asked me to stop. All the allegations Mitchel's made in front of the Council? Completely and utterly true. I am an abusive asshole, and Jazz is scared of me. And knowing that wasn't enough to stop me from hurting him today. Knowing won't be enough to stop me from hurting him again and again as long as he's in my life. How the fuck can I even consider trying to work things out?
My stomach lurches harder than ever, and I thrust my key back into the lock. I need to get inside now, though I'm not even sure I'm gonna make it to the bathroom if I do. The key turns and I throw the door open - definitely not gonna make it to the bathroom. My fingers tear frantically at my tie, pulling it off as I sprint toward the kitchen. It takes all my effort to hold back long enough. I barely manage to bend over the sink in time, holding onto the counter for support.
Not sure how long I stare into the metal basin, my insides churning and breathing ragged. It feels like a fucking eternity before I manage to stand. I'm shaky - barely able to hold myself up as I grip the counter tightly. Have to force myself to breathe in deeply, but I can't totally get my head under control. Can't stop thinking about Jazz - need to stop. I know working it out is a bad idea - for both of us, but especially him.
Fresh air. That's definitely what I need - a walk outside to clear my head. To get rid of these stupid ideas. Still can't help hoping I see Jazz in the hallway as I make my way to the Palace garden. The garden's dark and utterly silent. I can't help shivering, pulling my jacket tighter around me as I sit down on a bench.
But I don't think I'm shivering from the cold. After all that's happened, I still can't stop thinking about Jazz. Still can't totally get it through my head that being apart is what's best for the both of us. Still can't stop thinking of him as my husband.
What I did to Jazz today? Utterly disgusting. But maybe it's the push he needs to finally move on.
It's hard to keep my expression neutral as I watch the Council members file into the emergency meeting. All I can do to control my breathing as I see the questioning looks on their faces. I fold my hands and rest them on the table, hoping to keep them steady. But I can't stop my jaw from clenching, and I can't stop noticing Jazz's empty chair.
As much as I didn't want to admit it, I kinda knew he was gone this morning when he didn't show up to the meeting. Even worse? Part of me totally hoped he was. Being on the run can't be any more dangerous than staying here with me.
When everyone's seated, I stand up. I swallow thickly and clear my throat, try to ignore the ache in my chest. "Emperor Callahan has gone missing," I say, trying and utterly failing to keep my voice even. Wonderful. Not the time for theatrics, Savin. I force myself to breathe in deeply, straightening my tie before I try again. "By my estimate, he probably left late last night, after yesterday’s Council Meeting."
The words fucking hurt to say, but they're also a relief. Jazz can move on - has moved on. The room's silent, and I can't stop myself from sneaking a glance at Mitchel. Of course the bastard's gonna have something to say about this. Except he's not saying a word.
"You said he was sick this morning," Regan mutters, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
This morning seems like a lifetime ago, now. I sigh as I take off my wedding ring, slipping it in my pocket. And again, there's as much relief as sadness in it - Jazz is gone, but wherever he is, I can't hurt him anymore. "We've been separated for about a week. We don't live together at the moment. I haven't seen him since our Council Meeting yesterday."
Mitchel coughs loudly. Knew that asshole wouldn't be able to keep quiet.
My jaw clenches tighter and I brace myself for whatever the bastard's got to say. One thing's for sure - it's not gonna be anything good. I shoot him a look, clear my throat again. "We didn't want our relationship issues to interfere with how we ran the Empire." Kinda failed at that one, didn't we?
Mitchel crosses his arms over his chest, his expression unreadable. "Apparently they have, if Emperor Callahan has gone missing, Emperor Bates." Well, at least there's one thing he and I agree on. "I also don't believe you didn't see him between yesterday's Council Meeting and this morning. Emperor Callahan isn't the type to just up and leave with no reason. Especially if the two of you were already living separately."
What did he just say? Mitchel knows I saw Jazz after yesterday's Council Meeting. Bastard clearly wants to call me out right now - absolutely could, since he knows I'm lying. Not sure why he isn't, unless he's got something to hide, too. Why was he in that room with Jazz yesterday? My heart pounds as I remember the way he touched him.
I press my lips together, fists balling at my sides as I fight to keep myself under control. Mitchel fucking wants me to lose it - can't let him get to me, not now. I've got an Empire to run, alone, and I can't keep letting that bastard get to me in front of the Council. Whatever the reason, for now I've got the upper hand. Why he's letting me have it is something I need to find out, but not right now. Right now, I just need to focus on getting through this meeting.
"Believe what you want, Councilman Foraker," I say when I can finally trust my voice. "I’m not entirely sure he left on his own. He left his cell phone here. Didn’t take much with him. Didn’t drain our bank accounts." I half-expect Mitchel to press me further, force me to admit I pushed Jazz over the edge. But he doesn't.
The rest of the meeting's a blur - I'm too busy wondering just what game the bastard's trying to play with me to pay full attention. Too busy forcing myself to breathe, maintain some semblance of control. It's all I can do to keep breathing as the room finally clears out - as Mitchel rises from his seat and claps his hands sarcastically.
"What an excellent performance, Emperor Bates." Mitchel's tone is gleeful. "You really had everyone going."
Fucking Christ, how I want to wipe that smirk off his fucking face. I glare at him over the edge of my glasses, my jaw clenching so hard it aches. My vision starts to tunnel, too - whatever's left of my control, it's fading fast. It's all I can do to keep my mouth shut until I've regained a tiny bit of my composure. "What are you getting at, Mitchel?" As if I don't already know.
"It's quite simple, Savin." Mitchel moves toward me slowly, his expression predatory. The way he's trailing his hand across the table is teasing, almost seductive. "You were jealous last night. Got angry with Jazz - how dare he talk to another man, right?" He snorts. "Not that I swing that way - but Jazz is pretty cute - for a guy."
He didn't. He fucking didn't. Mitchel's really gonna go there now? And like hell he doesn't fucking swing that way. I saw the way he looked at my husband - ex-husband - last night. Anger bubbles up in my chest, takes my breath away. I force myself to breathe in and back out again - for a minute, that takes all of my fucking effort.
"I wasn't jealous," I mutter, even though we both know that's a fucking lie.
"Sure you weren't, Savin." Mitchel's leans in so close I can feel his fucking breath on my face. Stares me right in the eyes. "You know, it's funny," he says, his voice maddeningly silky. "When I was talking to Jazz last night, I could have sworn he checked me out - at least a little."
Yeah, that's funny, all right. Fucking hilarious. Especially since I could've sworn that, too.
It's not like I don't know Jazz and Mitchel have a history. Not like I haven't known that since we joined Ryin's Council. The way Jazz used to blush when he looked at Mitchel back then? Utterly crushing and not something I'm likely to fucking forget. I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, grinding my teeth together as I try to bite back any further response.
Breathe, Savin. Keep it in perspective. So Jazz has a thing for older men. That doesn't mean he fucking cheated, right? Doesn't mean anything at all. Mitchel's just trying to get under my skin - and fucking succeeding, if the way my heart's pounding is any indication. My stomach's totally flipping around, too, and it takes every bit of control I have to keep my voice even when I finally speak. "Even if he had checked you out, Mitchel, it doesn't mean anything. He's allowed to look."
That smirk on Mitchel's face? It can only mean he's not buying my words any more than I am.
"Technically, since the two of you are separated, he's allowed to do more than just 'look'." Mitchel straightens his tie, and I'm seized with a desire to grab it and choke him with it. Stop those taunting words and smug smile once and for all. "I bet if I had tried hard enough, I could have gotten him to come home with me."
My nails are biting into my palms before I even realize my hands have balled themselves into fists. My vision's receded to practically nothing - all I can see is that fucking smirk. Can actually see myself jumping from my seat and wiping it off his fucking face. I barely manage to stay seated, to force my fists to unfurl. To keep breathing and return Mitchel's smirk. "Thought you didn't swing that way?"
The bastard grins at me. Fucking grins. "I don't, but for Jazz I would make an exception." His fucking insufferable grin gets even fucking wider. "Just would have to imagine him in a mini-skirt and heels."
Fucking Christ. Never thought I'd regret talking Jazz into that Halloween costume, but now I do.
"He'd never fuck you, anyway," I spit, glaring at Mitchel as I grip my knees so tightly it's painful. I'm afraid of what'll happen if I let go. Afraid my hands will ball into fists again and I won't be able to stop myself from beating him to a bloody fucking pulp.
"You sure about that?" Mitchel leans in close again, that predatory glint still in his eyes. "He likes older men, doesn't he? And assholes. I do happen to be both."
Yes, you totally fucking do happen to be both. Especially the "asshole" part.
Mitchel straightens up, stepping just out of my reach as if he knows how badly I want to choke the fucking life out of him. Only then he leans in again, his hand on my shoulder. I tense under his touch, spine prickling at his hot breath against my neck. My chest is so tight I can barely fucking breathe - everything feels tight, even my fucking pants.
"At least I wouldn’t hit him," Mitchel whispers, and my heart fucking stops.
I'm out of my seat so fast my chair flies backward, grabbing Mitchel by the front of his suit. "Do you fucking get off on pissing me off or something?" I growl. "Seriously, do you fucking hear yourself? My husband is missing and all you can fucking do is taunt me about him?"
Mitchel moans softly, lowering his eyelids and biting his lip. Is he fucking kidding me? My hands shoot out involuntarily, shoving him roughly away before I even realize I've moved. I'm not sure if I'm angrier at him or myself.
"He's not your husband anymore, Savin." Mitchel barely even stumbles, and his voice remains irritatingly smooth. He scowls at me as he straightens his clothes. "You two are separated, remember? I'm sure now that he's left you for good he's already underneath someone else."
My stomach twists, and it's all I can do to form words. "He wouldn't - Jazz isn't like that."
Mitchel smirks, turning away and heading for the door. "You don't sound so sure of that, Emperor." He stops just a little too close to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. Then he walks away, trailing his fingertips slowly down my arm.
I'm totally frozen in place - not even sure I'm fucking breathing anymore. What the fuck just happened?
"You know, Savin," Mitchel calls over his shoulder as he leaves, his voice low and teasing. "I might just make an exception for you, too. After all, why should Jazz have all the fun?"
(Next chapter is here)
no subject
I'm just...kinda...okay, *really* turned on right now. Which means Savin probably is really turned on by the end of this and isn't even remotely aware of it. And if he doesn't masturbate to this whole scene later I'm writing fic of this fic where he does because I think he'd be that (subconsciously) turned on right now. lololol
Fucking Christ, when Mitchel trails his fingers down Savin's arm like that? Dead. Mitchel's line of "I might make an exception for you, too?" Unf. These two need to fuck already in the dirtiest nastiest most hateful away possible. Just unf.
Also Savin. "He'd never fuck you." Oh, bb, he did. He fucked Mitchel. It was years ago, but Jazz fucked Mitchel and they both heavily enjoyed it. I'm so sorry.
no subject
He may end up masturbating if for no other reason than I don't like writing inner monologue and I need him to be doing SOMETHING while he's making his realizations in the next chapter. :D
Don't worry! They gun fuck. :D And poor Savin, so many things you don't know about your lover's past.
I'm glad this is working for you so far.
no subject
Oh thank god. xD lololol
I know, I know but I think this is like my favorite hate!ship on the planet. Why did I not do this in my canon? Jesus.
:D