Soooo... I have to get the toddler in a second and I need to shower before that, so I'm just going to leave a really quick reply and come back and say more later (I think).
As always, you've made me think. Chapters 10 and 13 are getting split anyway, I think, both because they're long as shit and moving the Zack stuff around is going to necessitate it, I think. Also when/if you read chapter 10, you will smack me for trying to cram the amount of stuff into it that I did. At least I'm pretty sure you will. I want to smack me for it.
Anyway, before I run and get ready. It's hard with Wes POVs because he is very, very focused on Devin. The further we get into the book, the more true this becomes. There are two problems with having Wes POVs as a result. One, I don't need more stuff about Devin. I have lots and lots of stuff about Devin because he's weird and does crazy things and also he is eventually somewhat plot-relevant. Two, well. Wes has more POVs later in the book.
But... if I do a Wes POV like riiiiiight when Kalen shows up at their door the first time after the bomb (because I decided that's where he goes "to get help" once he realizes Calla is seriously hurt, then I can do this progression:
Chapter 1 -- Brendan - Life riiiight before the bomb and riiiight after. So the scene with his female friend, where he's training and runs into her and she's been picked for a team and why haven't I? (His grades.) A confrontation with Kalen after he comes home from building the bomb. The recruiting office scene. And I want the kid scenes with him and Kalen in this chapter, so I can either put them at the beginning of the chapter or use them as flashbacks when Brendan gets all ragey, because that's a thing now.
No matter what I do, I can't figure out a way to do this without a little time-skippage and jumpiness at the beginning. If you have a better idea, let me know.
Chapter 2 -- Calla - Some bits from the original chapter 1, her meeting Kalen and some added stuff about her life and why she wants to get away from it. I'm not sure how to make it not have time-jumps unless I claim she and Kalen don't know each other as long, but then why does she trust him on the bomb thing? Hm. Anyway, I want this chapter to go from her meeting Kalen through the library.
Chapter 3 -- Devin - probably cutting some of the cuteness, adding in a scene of him and Kalen building the bomb, followed by the festival thingy and his ominous thoughts.
Chapter 4 -- Kalen - starts with him at the fence calling the people over (minus the expository speechifying which will mostly get explained in the library scene). Shows him accidentally setting off the bomb (sneezing or otherwise -- not sure yet). Him and Calla getting away and her getting hurt, up to the point where he decides to go for help.
Chapter 5 -- Wes - starts with Kalen showing up there, looking for help. Wes will be all "omg, you're famous" and stupid excited. At some point in the chapter he will have an "oh shit" moment where it hits him that this is real. Somewhere in between he and Kalen and Devin will... do things? I think Kalen just went to them because he couldn't go home and didn't know where else to go. I'm not sure exactly how they're supposed to help him help Calla. They probably aren't. So this might be the time to show that, um, they're not really insurgents.
Chapter 6 -- Calla - will involve her robotification and I am still trying to figure that out. Some sort of fight between Kalen and Brendan. Probably still robots.
All POVs introduced. Everything flows more or less linearly from there, will see if I can cut down on the time skippiness within chapters. Ideas? Thoughts?
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timeasmymeasure
Re: scene 3
Date: 2013-03-25 09:40 pm (UTC)As always, you've made me think. Chapters 10 and 13 are getting split anyway, I think, both because they're long as shit and moving the Zack stuff around is going to necessitate it, I think. Also when/if you read chapter 10, you will smack me for trying to cram the amount of stuff into it that I did. At least I'm pretty sure you will. I want to smack me for it.
Anyway, before I run and get ready. It's hard with Wes POVs because he is very, very focused on Devin. The further we get into the book, the more true this becomes. There are two problems with having Wes POVs as a result. One, I don't need more stuff about Devin. I have lots and lots of stuff about Devin because he's weird and does crazy things and also he is eventually somewhat plot-relevant. Two, well. Wes has more POVs later in the book.
But... if I do a Wes POV like riiiiiight when Kalen shows up at their door the first time after the bomb (because I decided that's where he goes "to get help" once he realizes Calla is seriously hurt, then I can do this progression:
Chapter 1 -- Brendan - Life riiiight before the bomb and riiiight after. So the scene with his female friend, where he's training and runs into her and she's been picked for a team and why haven't I? (His grades.) A confrontation with Kalen after he comes home from building the bomb. The recruiting office scene. And I want the kid scenes with him and Kalen in this chapter, so I can either put them at the beginning of the chapter or use them as flashbacks when Brendan gets all ragey, because that's a thing now.
No matter what I do, I can't figure out a way to do this without a little time-skippage and jumpiness at the beginning. If you have a better idea, let me know.
Chapter 2 -- Calla - Some bits from the original chapter 1, her meeting Kalen and some added stuff about her life and why she wants to get away from it. I'm not sure how to make it not have time-jumps unless I claim she and Kalen don't know each other as long, but then why does she trust him on the bomb thing? Hm. Anyway, I want this chapter to go from her meeting Kalen through the library.
Chapter 3 -- Devin - probably cutting some of the cuteness, adding in a scene of him and Kalen building the bomb, followed by the festival thingy and his ominous thoughts.
Chapter 4 -- Kalen - starts with him at the fence calling the people over (minus the expository speechifying which will mostly get explained in the library scene). Shows him accidentally setting off the bomb (sneezing or otherwise -- not sure yet). Him and Calla getting away and her getting hurt, up to the point where he decides to go for help.
Chapter 5 -- Wes - starts with Kalen showing up there, looking for help. Wes will be all "omg, you're famous" and stupid excited. At some point in the chapter he will have an "oh shit" moment where it hits him that this is real. Somewhere in between he and Kalen and Devin will... do things? I think Kalen just went to them because he couldn't go home and didn't know where else to go. I'm not sure exactly how they're supposed to help him help Calla. They probably aren't. So this might be the time to show that, um, they're not really insurgents.
Chapter 6 -- Calla - will involve her robotification and I am still trying to figure that out. Some sort of fight between Kalen and Brendan. Probably still robots.
All POVs introduced. Everything flows more or less linearly from there, will see if I can cut down on the time skippiness within chapters. Ideas? Thoughts?
Crap, I'm late. Back in a few.