You've never come off sounding pissy. Just eager to explain why something got written the way it did. which I'm always excited to read.
I really don't know what to do with the first few chapters either. I get your dilemma about how much to show and where to start it.
The only thing I can think of is the whole doing the bombing scene as a prologue then start chapter one with something like "one week ago" and then go linearly which might mean chopping up the chapters to keep things in order. Like starting with Devin helping build the bomb (just that scene) then show Brendan confronting Kalen about what he's doing with a flashback to when they were kids or something else. Then maybe write something new for Calla's POV like something that happens with her at home in the week before the bombing or a scene with her and Kalen (maybe with the flashback of them meeting). Then go back to show the Devin/Wes stuff although I'd put a Wes chapter in there showing what was going on though his POV (just a little). Keep the chapters short. Then Kalen's POV as their going to the bombing or right after like when they're running through the woods or whatever.
I would probably mean rearranging some of the events in time but still in a logical order.
Trying to figure out where you would fit Brendan's stuff in there with that timeline. Because I like what you suggested about the scene with him and his nemesis.
I guess you could show the stuff with Kalen and Calla escaping then jump to Brendan dealing with the fallout. Maybe his nemesis confronts him about his traitor brother as he's waiting to do his enlistment interview which could trigger another flashback of him and her going at it (maybe literally, lol).
Spoiler: they suck at it. They eventually suck at it less. This just cracked me up
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timeasmymeasure
Re: scene 2-kalen & calla thoughts
Date: 2013-03-26 03:19 am (UTC)I really don't know what to do with the first few chapters either. I get your dilemma about how much to show and where to start it.
The only thing I can think of is the whole doing the bombing scene as a prologue then start chapter one with something like "one week ago" and then go linearly which might mean chopping up the chapters to keep things in order. Like starting with Devin helping build the bomb (just that scene) then show Brendan confronting Kalen about what he's doing with a flashback to when they were kids or something else. Then maybe write something new for Calla's POV like something that happens with her at home in the week before the bombing or a scene with her and Kalen (maybe with the flashback of them meeting). Then go back to show the Devin/Wes stuff although I'd put a Wes chapter in there showing what was going on though his POV (just a little). Keep the chapters short. Then Kalen's POV as their going to the bombing or right after like when they're running through the woods or whatever.
I would probably mean rearranging some of the events in time but still in a logical order.
Trying to figure out where you would fit Brendan's stuff in there with that timeline. Because I like what you suggested about the scene with him and his nemesis.
I guess you could show the stuff with Kalen and Calla escaping then jump to Brendan dealing with the fallout. Maybe his nemesis confronts him about his traitor brother as he's waiting to do his enlistment interview which could trigger another flashback of him and her going at it (maybe literally, lol).
Spoiler: they suck at it. They eventually suck at it less.
This just cracked me up