I think a lot of scene 2 will end up having to be redone because of the changes to chapter 4. Because of what you've mentioned here (Kalen's training, specifically), I'd like to believe he'd at least have the presence of mind to grab Calla's hand before he ran anywhere after the explosion. So if they do get separated, it's probably because Calla gets hurt as they're escaping and he tries to go get her help. That's what I think I've figured out.
The part that is staying is the refusing to be a leader part. Kalen doesn't want to be a leader. He didn't ask to be. He doesn't think it's fair that other people expect him to. Granted, he got everyone into this situation and even he knows that. Every genius with fighting experience isn't equipped to be a leader, though. He isn't. It's going to come up again later, but he feels that if other people care about this cause so much, one of them should step up and lead.
Here is my problem with Kalen. I have the same issue you do, and I'm still not sure how to fix it. Let me start by saying that I also do not feel sorry for him -- he pisses me off and frustrates me to no end. Because he's that kind of "genius" that is book smart but doesn't get people at all. He fit in at school by learning to follow the rules, most of which Brendan taught him.
Kalen in the first chapter is Calla's perception of Kalen. It probably is more bravado and desperation than real confidence. That, and he's learned to put on a good face because it makes people like him. Calla does not have the experience with Kalen's people or men in general to understand any of this, when she meets him or after his sudden (apparent) change in personality.
I wonder if there's a way to make him act more "off" or unsure or something for some short period of time in the first chapter. Because Calla is not going to get that it's not the real Kalen. He's been putting on a show for people his whole life. After the explosion, he loses the will to do that. As far as Calla's concerned, he does completely change. Help me figure out how to show that convincingly? Maybe this is a place where Brendan's POV could be helpful somewhere between the beginning and now. Because Brendan would probably get more of that than Calla's going to be able to.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: scene 2-kalen & calla thoughts
Date: 2013-03-25 06:19 pm (UTC)The part that is staying is the refusing to be a leader part. Kalen doesn't want to be a leader. He didn't ask to be. He doesn't think it's fair that other people expect him to. Granted, he got everyone into this situation and even he knows that. Every genius with fighting experience isn't equipped to be a leader, though. He isn't. It's going to come up again later, but he feels that if other people care about this cause so much, one of them should step up and lead.
Here is my problem with Kalen. I have the same issue you do, and I'm still not sure how to fix it. Let me start by saying that I also do not feel sorry for him -- he pisses me off and frustrates me to no end. Because he's that kind of "genius" that is book smart but doesn't get people at all. He fit in at school by learning to follow the rules, most of which Brendan taught him.
Kalen in the first chapter is Calla's perception of Kalen. It probably is more bravado and desperation than real confidence. That, and he's learned to put on a good face because it makes people like him. Calla does not have the experience with Kalen's people or men in general to understand any of this, when she meets him or after his sudden (apparent) change in personality.
I wonder if there's a way to make him act more "off" or unsure or something for some short period of time in the first chapter. Because Calla is not going to get that it's not the real Kalen. He's been putting on a show for people his whole life. After the explosion, he loses the will to do that. As far as Calla's concerned, he does completely change. Help me figure out how to show that convincingly? Maybe this is a place where Brendan's POV could be helpful somewhere between the beginning and now. Because Brendan would probably get more of that than Calla's going to be able to.