Whatever Makes You Happy (Cliffton book 1, chapter 2)

[n3m3sis43]

This is chapter 2 of Cliffton book 1. Concrit is much appreciated. The original version of this story was a <800-word attempt to cheer myself up after I wrote "Pretty Buttons". It did not, in fact, cheer me up at the time, in case you were wondering. If you're curious, the original version's over here.

If you're reading Cliffton for the first time, here's chapter 1 so you can catch up.


Wes starts babbling about the fucking Reaping Festival before I've even had my SynthBrew. Not that I'm listening. I just grunt at the appropriate places and again when he hands me a steaming mug. Doesn't stop him from fucking talking, though. Nothing ever does. It's not until after I'm showered and semi-awake that his words start to register.

"And there's a carnival with rocket racing and rides! We can get FunCakes, too. I love FunCakes!" Wes is chattering away like a warrior bat on StimTabs. Four years living on this side of the fence, and he's never once mentioned the Festival. This year, though, he's on a fucking mission.

"Carnivals are fucking crowded," I grumble. "Don't fucking like crowds." Don't know why I'm bothering to argue - just gonna end up giving in. Once Wes gets an idea in his head, it's all but impossible to change his mind. Don't even really want to - never could resist that brilliant fucking grin of his.

"They have blue MegaSlushes, Devin!" Now his grin's so huge I can't help but smile back.

Well, that settles it. Blue MegaSlushes are my fucking favorite.

"Fine. We'll go." Wish I didn't sound so grumpy. Don't like fucking mornings. "It'll be fucking epic."

"Yay!" Wes squeals with delight and flings himself at me, almost knocking my SynthBrew out of my hands. He hugs me so hard I feel my fucking internal organs shifting. "You're gonna love it! We'll have so much fun! We can ride all the rides and get our pictures taken and you can win me prizes on the midway and we'll fly the bumper planes and - " He's talking a mile a minute. Don't know how he hasn't passed out from lack of air. Think I might soon.

"Wes," I gasp. "Can't fucking breathe." Still smiling, though - don't need air for that.

Wes dashes into the kitchen to make breakfast. Can't help grinning again when he returns, a plate loaded down with enough food for three of me in his hands. "I made your favorite - speckleberry pancakes!" He hands me the plate, keeps prattling as I dig in. "I'm so excited, dude. Tomorrow's gonna be so much fun!"

Festival's tomorrow? Well, fuck. I set my fork down with a clatter. Not fucking hungry now. "Uh, Wes? Kalen's coming over tomorrow. Wanted me to help him with some circuitry. Said it might take a while. Guess he's working on some kind of new robot."

"Oh, yeah." Wes bites his lip, looks so deflated I can't fucking stand it. "I forgot that was tomorrow."

"Maybe we'll finish up early?" I offer. "We could go after."

"Maybe." He looks away - fucking knows how wrapped up Kalen and I get when we're working on a project. "Well, I guess I should clean up the dishes now. Gotta get ready to go grocery shopping soon."

"Want me to come with you?" Kinda can't believe I just asked that. Wes always does the shopping alone. Fucking hate shopping worse than I hate crowds, but it doesn't matter right now. All I want's to take that sad look off his face.

Fucking works, too. Wes throws himself at me, wraps his arms around me tight. My plate falls on the floor, spilling the remains of my breakfast everywhere. That speckleberry goo's gonna be a fucking nightmare to clean off our couch, but I don't fucking care. Just relieved to see Wes happy again.

* * * * *
"Weeeeeeeeee!" Wes screeches, clinging to the back of the RoboCart on our way home from the grocery store. He could walk faster than the cart can go - designed it that way on purpose so he wouldn't get hurt. Doesn't matter how slow the cart's moving, though - he's just enjoying the ride. Wonder what it's like to be that fucking joyful all the time. Makes me grin - that and the way his eyes shine when he looks at me.

Kinda weird how different grocery stores here are from the ones back home. Always hated it when my ma sent me shopping - the long lines, the suspicious fucking way the storekeeper eyed me as he ran my background check. Nothing like that here at all - no scans, no rations, no checks. Just wide, clean shelves stocked with everything imaginable. Even have cereal that tastes like chocolate. People on this side aren't always the brightest, but their food's fucking ingenious.

All those choices are kinda exhausting. Good thing we're almost home - fucking crowds wear me out. I yawn, all but trip over my own fucking feet going up the driveway to our house. Almost fall over again as Wes tackles me. Hugs me so hard I think I hear my ribs crack. Guy's even skinnier than I am - how's he fucking do that?

"Thanks again for going to the store with me, dude! It was so much fun having you there!" Wes still has a death-grip on me as he yammers into my ear. "Wanna play some SimFighting after lunch? We can play co-op - together, we're invincible! It'll be so much fun, and I promise not to shoot my rocket launcher inside a tunnel again like last time, and - " Hard to hear the rest of his words over my face-cracking yawn.

Want to help Wes out, so I start putting away the groceries. Too bad I don't know where anything goes - don't spend a lot of fucking time in the kitchen. Throw open all the cabinets, survey the empty spaces. Everything's out of fucking order - don't know Wes stands it. Take everything out, sort it by shape and color. Halfway done when Wes screeches like he's got a fucking green death-slug crawling up his arm.

"What's wrong?" Thought he'd be happy for the extra help.

"My cabinets," Wes squeaks. Think his voice is trembling a little. "Wh- what're you doing to them?"

"Organizing them. They're out of order. How do you fucking find anything?"

"Oh, Devin." His eyes are huge and shiny like he's gonna fucking kiss me or something. The fuck? "I have a system - like with your tools, y'know? This is where I keep all the breakfast stuff." He points to the cabinet where I just finished putting all the things in green containers, picks up a couple things off the counter.

Wait, what? He's gonna put that brown box of fucking cereal next to a white bag of... whatever that is?

Don't have much time to think about that, though. Wes puts down the groceries he's holding, wraps his arms around me from behind. "Here, let me help you put these things away. You've gotta see where everything goes!"

"Fine, Wes." Sound fucking grumpy but I'm grinning. "Just don't use this as a fucking excuse to grope me."

* * * * *
Rest of the afternoon's pretty normal. Organizing the kitchen. Soup and sandwiches for lunch - fucking delicious.

Wes brings up that fucking Festival every 20 minutes or so. Looks so hopeful when he does it, too. Wish more than anything I could just call Kalen and reschedule, but he said it was important. Just hope we finish up early tomorrow so Wes can get his wish. In the meantime, just have to keep him entertained. Good thing that isn't hard to do.

"Up for some SimFighting?" Reach for my headset before he gets a chance to answer.

No way is Wes gonna say no. Dude fucking loves SimFighting, even though he's terrible at it. Can't stay alive more than a minute or two on his own. We play co-op, and I cover Wes while he takes all the kills. Smirk at the way he moves his whole body when he plays. As if flailing his arms and legs is gonna somehow make his SimFighter jump better. Almost fucking knocks me over a few times. You know what, though? It's okay. Kinda hard not to enjoy myself when he's all fucking lit up like that.

"You got any plans tonight, dude?" Wes pulls off his SimFighting headset, stretches.

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking busy tonight - busy watching Revenge of the Thirty-Fanged Growler with you."

"Dude!" Wes breathes. "I've been waiting forever for that to come out on neurovision."

Fucking know he has. Think he might explode or something. He's fucking quivering, bouncing up and down.

"This is gonna be so amazing! I'll make us pizza and crunchbugs and... and - " Wes cuts himself off, launches himself at me with a yelp of pure joy. Don't have the heart to tell him he's cracking my fucking vertebrae.

Too bad the vid doesn't start until ten at night. Wes is yawning his fucking head off a third of the way through. Poor dude's a morning person - not used to being up this late at all. Doesn't stop him from bouncing up and down so hard the whole fucking couch shakes. Doesn't keep him from squealing and clutching my arm at the scary parts, either.

Kinda don't notice how quiet he's gotten until I feel a weight on my shoulder. Look down to see his head resting against me, eyes closed and this tiny smile on his face. Think he might even be snoring a little. Cutest fucking thing I've ever seen.

"Hey, Wes," I whisper. "Wake up. Best part's about to come on."

"Nuh uh. Too comfy." Wes sighs, wraps his arms around me. Like I'm some kind of fucking stuffed toy.

I squirm, try to get away. Not sure I'm comfy. We're just roommates, okay? He's my best friend in the world, but cuddling? Think I draw the fucking line there. Or I would, if I could get Wes to move. No matter how I try to shift positions, he doesn't budge. Dude's stronger than he looks, because he's got a grip of fucking UberSteel.

No point in fighting it, right? Wes isn't gonna move unless I wake him up. Don't have the heart to do that. Drape my arm around his shoulders instead. Give his arm a pat. "Sleep well, buddy," I mutter. Might even smile as I say it - just a tiny bit.

What? Can't fucking get him off me anyway - might as well get comfortable, too.

* * * * *
"When's Kalen gonna get here?" Wes asks for the third time in the past 20 minutes. Poor dude's a nervous wreck - pacing our living room and all but wringing his fucking hands. "We're never gonna make it to the Festival if he doesn't hurry up."

Hate seeing him worked up like this. Almost never do. I wrack my brain, trying to think of something to distract him. Start to get a little nervous myself, but then inspiration strikes. "Don't worry, Wes." I walk over to him, rest a hand on his arm. "Gonna make sure you have your Festival one way or another. Why don't you go research it on the Splinternet now? Find out all the traditions. If we can't get there in time, we can just make our own Festival here at home."

The way his face lights up makes my heart fucking melt. Stomach feels a little funny, too - though that might be from all those crunchbugs I ate last night during our monster vid.

"Devin, dude, you're a genius!" Wes screeches. Gives me one of his bone-breaking hugs before he rushes out of the room. "This is gonna be the best Reaping Festival ever!"

Don't see him again until after Kalen leaves. I triple-bolt the door, arm the security system. Always good to be fucking safe. Try not to worry about whether we'll ever be safe again, now that I know what Kalen's been working on. Not a robot at all - a bomb. A fucking bomb. Asked him what it was for, and he said I didn't want to know. Kinda don't. Don't want to think about it much at all.

I expect Wes to be all over me, dragging me out the door to that fucking Festival. He's nowhere to be found. I'm about to go look for him when he appears, carrying the two ugliest hats I've ever seen.

"The fuck are those?" Pretty sure I'm not gonna like the answer to that question.

"They're for us! I made them!" Wes proclaims with a triumphant grin. "They're traditional Festival hats."

"They have fruit on them." I eye the hats with suspicion. "Fucking fruit, Wes."

"C'mon, dude, at least try it on." Wes holds one of the fruity monstrosities out to me. "I made it just for you."

Really don't want to. Hat's beyond hideous and it's made of straw. It's gonna mess up my hair, maybe even give me fucking split ends. But Wes is watching me and he probably spent all day on these ridiculous things.

Wes's eyes shine with pride as I put on the humiliating hat. He dons his own, beaming like the fucking sun.

"Feel like a fucking idiot with this thing on my head," I grumble, but make no move to take it off.

"Awww, but you look so pretty in it." Swear Wes fucking sighs. "Besides, everyone'll be wearing them."

But when we get to the Festival we're the only two morons wearing those fucking hats. Turns out that tradition was abandoned years ago. Of fucking course. We get a lot of comments from people walking by. They're just strangers, though. I don't give a shit.

"Wanna take our hats off now?" Wes asks, looking a little embarrassed.

I kinda do, but he spent all afternoon on these works of "art". I'm not gonna just hand mine to the nearest WasteBot. Besides, my hair's already messed up now anyway. "Fuck it, let's wear them anyway, man," I tell him. "Fruit is fucking cheerful."

Wes looks like he's about to hug me as his face lights up under the brim of his own fruity headpiece.

Definitely better to wear the stupid hat.

"So what do you wanna do first?" Wes chirps, grabbing my arm. "There's the SimCoasters and the real ones and a pie contest and the midway and this booth where you dress up like old-time swordsmasters and get a vidframe of it, and - "

Really do have to fucking wonder sometimes how he doesn't pass out from lack of air.

"Whatever." Even my enormous hat can't hide my ridiculous grin, but I can't fucking help it. "Whatever makes you happy."

* * * * *
It's late as fuck and I can't fucking sleep. Probably all the sugar in that blue MegaSlush I had at the Festival. I get out of bed, check the locks and the security system one more time. Fucking silly. The defenses on this house are fucking airtight. Wes and I are as safe as two people can be. For now, anyway.

Kalen's got a fucking bomb. I helped him build it. Everything could fucking change.

I kinda want to knock on Wes's door, just to talk. Not be alone with my fucking ridiculous thoughts. But he's asleep. Probably been out a couple hours already. Besides, I don't want to scare him. Wes hasn't been through the things I have. Doesn't deserve to be afraid for no fucking reason. Have to be strong for him if anything happens.

Not that anything's gonna happen anyway. Keep telling myself that as I wait for sleep to come.


(Next chapter is here)

Comments

[alien-writings.livejournal.com]

We're just roommates, okay? He's my best friend in the world, but cuddling?

Yes, you're just roommates. Obviously. Definitely nothing else going on around here! ;)

I liked how you showed their normal lives before fucking Kalen went and screwed everything up. They had actual lives before everything blew up (literally AND figuratively!), even if Devin was already kinda obsessing. I read this and was like "they could have been haaaaaaaapyyyyyyyy." Fucking Kalen!

Also, Devin, I, too, wonder how Wes doesn't pass out from lack of air. Does that ability come from the same source that gives him his more-than-expected physical strength? haha

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

I like the rewrite. So much more to the sequence, and it's good. I totally want to try speckle berry pancakes and I'm somewhat curious as to wht crunch bugs are.

Somewhat unrelated, but I keep meaning to say that I always imagined Wes as a tad ginger haired. Your icon reminded me of this, since I guess I'm way off on the hair color. I have no idea why it came in my minds eye as this, but oh well.

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

Okay now that I'm not desperately trying to write things and not fucking tired, I could read this and give you feedback.

I honestly really, really love this rewrite. As a first chapter, this is VERY strong. It gives hints to how different the two sides really are. It also establishes just how normal their lives were prior to Kalen fucking things up for them -- and well, it also establishes how close the two really were. And how in love with each other they really are -- even if Devin's still in denial of it right now. Which really, they would have had their moment later where they got together -- you can feel that they would have. Poor bbs.

As a whole, this piece flows really well. Each section definitely illustrates a different part of their lives -- and that last one still hits home. You KNOW something's gonna go wrong, as a reader, and that their lives are gonna be flipped (turned upside down) as soon as Kalen does whatever he's doing with the bomb. lol

[whipchick.livejournal.com]

I really like this, there's a strong voice and it carries me along while setting up the story to come.

Just something to ponder - this feels like YA to me, they feel like teenagers or very young adults. But judging from the number of f-bombs, it's not YA, and they might be older than I think? Is there a way to establish their ages a little more clearly? The breathless rush of voice feels young (and so, ironically, does the profanity), but this might be a hard sell to the audience if it's meant to be YA.

The turn to seriousness at the end is terrific, and makes me want to read more.

[tai823.livejournal.com]

Okay, because the timeframe doesn't really move the way it did in Kalen and Calla's piece, I'm just going to throw one big massive wall of text at you (possibly two or three if LJ doesn't go AMG WORD COUNT).

First off, I was laughing out loud by the end of the second paragraph. While I like Calla and Kalen (even with my slight coolness toward Calla), I LOVE Wes and Devin. And I can actually already see the crazy, and probably would have even if you hadn't mentioned anything.

Wes is adorably hyperactive and sweet and almost scary-innocent. It makes me sad that he's so obviously carefree because I imagine with all of the Big Bad Bomb Stuff, that's not going to last too long (because you don't build a bomb if you ain't gonna blow stuff up, amirite?).

Devin's character fascinates me. Like, almost ridiculously so. Blatant social issues aside (I don't want to say anxiety, but he's got some massive people-hate going on), and obvious OCD aside, he's got an extremely strong voice and a sort of eccentric genius about him (the smart ones are always crazy, anyway). And despite the fact he drops f-bombs with the same frequency I use "and" and "the", it doesn't feel forced or overused - which is friggin hard to pull off in character writing and I envy the hell out of you for it.

One thing that threw me a little (and it's very possible I missed it due to being medicated) was the mention of the grocery stores and stuff. I got the impression from Devin's musings about the difference between growing up and the current situation that Wes and Devin are on Calla's side of the fence... but then Kalen comes over and that made me assume that either a) I was wrong and they're on Kalen's side or b) Kalen carted the bomb across the fence to Calla's side to get Devin to help him work on it? I suppose it's not so far-fetched that Kalen would do that, especially post-library-visit where he gets that fierce determination about him, but it just made me stop reading and think, that's all.

I like the underlying tension in Wes and Devin's relationship. Roommates, best friends, suuuuure. Kind of makes me feel like it's all just destined for disaster.

This works really well as a second chapter, most definitely! *claps excitedly*

(And not to throw mention of my own work in here, but I could see Devin and Doc getting along really well. Which kind of scares the shit out of me.)

I'll do another reading when I get home tonight and see if there's anything else I wanna add. ^.^

[winters-queen.livejournal.com]

Considering that Wes is hugging Devin over every little thing, yeaaaah, just friends. Of course you are, sweetie.

I can see a blue MegaSlush as a CaffPow that Abby drinks on NCIS.

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

This definitely works better as the second chapter instead of the first.

The play between them is awesome, and that undercurrent of something more than roommates and best friends is apparent throughout.

I like the happy picture and the contrast between both sides of the fence. The last bit, with all the foreboding, works really well.

to start

[jennickels.livejournal.com]

I guess I'll start with what I like about this chapter.

The flow. Compared to chapter one this one flows through time much better. It doesn't feel like anything important got left out. I liked how Devin was kind of oblivious about his own feelings for Wes. Come on--if the dude makes you smile that much when he's annoying the crap out of you then something's up. The scene with them cuddling on the couch was perfect. Devin's reaction was great with anger and denial and grudging acceptance (okay maybe not too grudgingly). It was cute.

I also liked that the characters were distinct. I got right away that Wes was hyperactive, like a ray of sunshine in a bleak world. Abnormally so. Devin was the complete opposite--dark and moody. The contrast worked really well.

What I think needs improvement. This, again, is coming from a first time reader who has just picked this version up at the book store.

Not sure where to start or what order to put things in.

[-]Descriptions. I have no idea what any of these characters look like. Kalen and Calla included. That's definitely an oversight. I did the same thing in my novel. Some characters had a cursory description (maybe eyes and hair and height) but others had nothing to the point I even forgot what they looked like, lol. It might be out of character for Devin but you have to find a way for him to describe Wes. Maybe something about his "floppy blond hair" when he's bouncing all around or the way his blue eyes sparkle when he's excited. I got that he was kind of skinny and lanky but very strong but that's it.

On a related note, it takes awhile before we find out whose POV this is. I know sometimes it feels like a cheat or seems to ruin the flow but putting the POV character's name at the top might help. Especially if there are going to be more than 2 POVs otherwise it could get confusing. That's how other books I've read do it. It felt stupid for a 2 character story that went back and forth between chapters but for multiple viewpoints it helped. Especially especially in 1st person where the narrator isn't going to mention their own name. It would be less confusing for the reader. Just a thought.

[-]Ages. I mentioned it for chapter 1 and I saw you discuss it in the comments but I have no clue how old anyone is and that's something you need to establish early on. The way this reads I picture Devin around 19 (but that's probably because of all the YA I read--and I have read YA/NA with this much swearing but I think they were mostly e-books with indie publishers... and they were really good). Wes... I have no clue. At one point--the grocery store with the cart he seemed like he could be 10. At other times it was obvious he was supposed to be close in age to Devin. Thinking about his character as described in this chapter 16 seems too young and 20 seems too old. I have no clue really.